Ten reasons to live abstinence during courtship
1. Purity helps to have
a good communication with your partner
When a couple lives sexual abstinence, their communication flows very well because they do not only concentrate in their pleasure but in the joy of sharing points of view, experiences, and their conversations are deeper. On the other hand, physical intimacy is an easy way of interrelating, but other ways of communication are eclipsed. It is a way of avoiding the effort that a true emotional intimacy demands, like talking about deep personal subjects and work out basic differences between the couple.
2. The friendly side of the relationship grows
Physical closeness may lead young people to think they are emotionally close even if they are not. A romantic relationship essentially consists in cultivating a friendship and there is no friendship without conversation and without sharing interests. Personal conversation creates friendship bonds and helps the couple to discover one another, to know their defects and their qualities. Some young people are dragged by their passions and when they get to know each other more deeply they feel disappointed. They didn’t get to know each other because they didn’t become friends.
3. There is a better relationship with each other’s parents
When a man and a woman respect each other, their love become more mature and there is a greater friendship with each other’s parents. Most of the times parents prefer that their unmarried children live sexual abstinence and they feel bad if they know that their children are sexually active before getting married. When a couple feels that they must hide their sexual relations, they feel guilty and stressed. A couple that lives purity, relates more cordially with each other’s parents and with their own parents.
4. You feel free to question if that relation is convenient or not
Sexual relations have the power to strongly unite two people, and may extend an unhealthy relation based on physical attraction or security need. A person may feel “trapped” in a relation, which he/she would like to get out from and he/she does not know how. A chaste person is able to break up more easily with the affective link that ties him/her to another person because there has not been a strong intimacy at a physical level.
5. Generosity is encouraged against selfishness
Sexual relations during courtship encourage selfishness and self-pleasure and they promote competitivity with other people that might result more attractive to the partner. Insecurity and selfishness is fostered because intimacy invites to ask for more and more.
6. There is less risk of physical or verbal abuse
Sex outside marriage is associated with violence and other forms of abuse. For example there is twice as much physical aggression between couples living together with no compromise, than between married couples. There is less jealousy and selfishness between couples that live purity than in those who are dragged by their passions.
7. There is an increase in the way of showing affection
Couples living abstinence find “new” details to show affection; they become more ingenious and inventive to have fun and show each other their mutual interest. The relation becomes stronger and they have more opportunity to know each other’s character, habits and ways of keeping alive a relationship.
8. There are more probabilities to succeed in marriage
Surveys have shown that couples who have had sex before marriage have more possibilities of getting divorced than those who have not.
9. If you decide to “break up” with that relationship, it will hurt less
Bonds created by sexual affectivity strongly ties individuals, so, if there is a breakup, pain is greater.When there are not sexual relationships and a couple decides to break up, separation is less devastating.
10. You will feel a better person
Sexually active young people lose self-esteem and admit to feel guilt. When they decide to leave aside physical intimacy and live in chastity they feel new and develop more as individuals. On the other hand, their intellectual, artistic and social potential increases. Sex is not a game. When somebody puts pressure on you, think what you are going to answer: “Just once and I will insist no more” / “That is exactly what worries me. I prefer to keep myself pure for someone who wants me for life”.
When a couple lives sexual abstinence, their communication flows very well because they do not only concentrate in their pleasure but in the joy of sharing points of view, experiences, and their conversations are deeper. On the other hand, physical intimacy is an easy way of interrelating, but other ways of communication are eclipsed. It is a way of avoiding the effort that a true emotional intimacy demands, like talking about deep personal subjects and work out basic differences between the couple.
2. The friendly side of the relationship grows
Physical closeness may lead young people to think they are emotionally close even if they are not. A romantic relationship essentially consists in cultivating a friendship and there is no friendship without conversation and without sharing interests. Personal conversation creates friendship bonds and helps the couple to discover one another, to know their defects and their qualities. Some young people are dragged by their passions and when they get to know each other more deeply they feel disappointed. They didn’t get to know each other because they didn’t become friends.
3. There is a better relationship with each other’s parents
When a man and a woman respect each other, their love become more mature and there is a greater friendship with each other’s parents. Most of the times parents prefer that their unmarried children live sexual abstinence and they feel bad if they know that their children are sexually active before getting married. When a couple feels that they must hide their sexual relations, they feel guilty and stressed. A couple that lives purity, relates more cordially with each other’s parents and with their own parents.
4. You feel free to question if that relation is convenient or not
Sexual relations have the power to strongly unite two people, and may extend an unhealthy relation based on physical attraction or security need. A person may feel “trapped” in a relation, which he/she would like to get out from and he/she does not know how. A chaste person is able to break up more easily with the affective link that ties him/her to another person because there has not been a strong intimacy at a physical level.
5. Generosity is encouraged against selfishness
Sexual relations during courtship encourage selfishness and self-pleasure and they promote competitivity with other people that might result more attractive to the partner. Insecurity and selfishness is fostered because intimacy invites to ask for more and more.
6. There is less risk of physical or verbal abuse
Sex outside marriage is associated with violence and other forms of abuse. For example there is twice as much physical aggression between couples living together with no compromise, than between married couples. There is less jealousy and selfishness between couples that live purity than in those who are dragged by their passions.
7. There is an increase in the way of showing affection
Couples living abstinence find “new” details to show affection; they become more ingenious and inventive to have fun and show each other their mutual interest. The relation becomes stronger and they have more opportunity to know each other’s character, habits and ways of keeping alive a relationship.
8. There are more probabilities to succeed in marriage
Surveys have shown that couples who have had sex before marriage have more possibilities of getting divorced than those who have not.
9. If you decide to “break up” with that relationship, it will hurt less
Bonds created by sexual affectivity strongly ties individuals, so, if there is a breakup, pain is greater.When there are not sexual relationships and a couple decides to break up, separation is less devastating.
10. You will feel a better person
Sexually active young people lose self-esteem and admit to feel guilt. When they decide to leave aside physical intimacy and live in chastity they feel new and develop more as individuals. On the other hand, their intellectual, artistic and social potential increases. Sex is not a game. When somebody puts pressure on you, think what you are going to answer: “Just once and I will insist no more” / “That is exactly what worries me. I prefer to keep myself pure for someone who wants me for life”.
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